Very
by Omeganian
Summary: A BBRae fic. Five songfic chapters. Realizations, hurt, and happiness.
1. Go West

This is my first Teen Titans fanfic. I plan on making five chapters based on five Pet Shop Boys song. This is the first chapter, based on the song Go West. R&R.

* * *

**Go West.**

I would say it all started three days ago, when we were returning from the Titans East, whom we helped deal with some kind of demon. Raven said it was her fourth cousin or something, but he was certainly no Trigon. A good bite on his leg, a few blasts by Raven and Cyborg, and of course, Aqualad putting out his flames was all it took for him to flee with all three tails between his legs (No kidding!).

_Come on, come on, come on, come on_

_(Together) We will go our way_

_(Together) We will leave someday_

_(Together) Your hand in my hand_

_(Together) We will make our plans_

_(Together) We will fly so high_

_(Together) Tell all our friends good-bye_

_(Together) We will start life new_

_(Together) This is what we'll do_

After that, it was time to fly home. I was flying as a green eagle, the other two guys were on the T-Ship, Starfire flew not quite two feet from Robin's window… And _she_ was flying next to me.

For a moment, my wing brushed against her. I looked at her. And something has changed inside me.

_(Go West) Life is peaceful there_

_(Go West) In the open air_

_(Go West) Where the skies are blue_

_(Go West) This is what we're gonna do_

_(Go West, this is what we're gonna do, Go West)_

She looked like an angel. A beautiful, peaceful angel against the heavens.

_(Together) We will love the beach_

_(Together) We will learn and teach_

_(Together) Change our pace of life_

_(Together) We will work and strive_

_(I love you) I know you love me_

_(I want you) How could I disagree?_

_(So that's why) I make no protest_

_(When you say) You will do the rest_

She was always so… wonderful. Intelligent. Calm. I always admired her.

_Go West) Life is peaceful there_

_(Go West) In the open air_

_(Go West) Baby you and me_

_(Go West) This is our destiny_

_(Go West) Sun in wintertime_

_(Go West) We will do just fine_

_(Go West) Where the skies are blue_

_(Go West, this is what we're gonna do)_

Yet now, when she was floating there, I saw her for who she was. An amazing, beautiful woman. One who managed to overcome her destiny. For me, she was a sunshine in the dark.

_There where the air is free_

_we'll be (We'll be) what we want to be_

_Now if we make a stand_

_we'll find (We'll find) our promised land_

I knew I shall always look for her happiness above mine. I knew I'll do anything to please her.

_(I know that) There are many ways_

_(To live there) In the sun or shade_

_(Together) We will find a place_

_(To settle) Where there's so much space_

_(Without rush) And the pace back East_

_(The hustling) Rustling just to feed_

_(I know I'm) Ready to leave too_

_(So that's what) We are gonna do_

I didn't know what exactly must be done, but I knew I had no choice.

_(What we're gonna do is_

_Go West) Life is peaceful there_

_(Go West) There in the open air_

_(Go West) Where the skies are blue_

_(Go West) This is what we're gonna do_

_Life is peaceful there) Go West_

_(In the open air) Go West_

_(Baby, you and me) Go West_

_(This is our destiny)_

_Come on, come on, come on, come on_

I knew I had to be with her forever. I knew there was no cure for me.

_(Go West) Sun in wintertime_

_(Go West) We will feel just fine_

_(Go West) Where the skies are blue_

_(Go West) This is what we're gonna do_

_(Come on, come on, come on, come on)_

_(Go West)_

That moment, I knew I was hopelessly in love.


	2. Yesterday, when I was mad

This chapter is somewhat sad, but, well, it demanded to be written. Hopefully I'll have the next one soon enough.

* * *

**Yesterday, when I was mad**

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

I struggle to understand where I am, what this annoying beeping is. I hear nothing but that beeping – and someone crying. And my chest hurts. Slowly, memories filter back.

_'Darling, you were wonderful, you really were quite good_

_I enjoyed it, though, of course, no one understood_

_a word of what was going on, they didn't have a clue_

_They couldn't understand your sense of humour like I do'_

I finally managed to gather the courage to speak to Raven about my feelings. I could have understood rejection. I could have understood anger. But _this_, this was far worse.

She _laughed_ at me.

_You're much too kind_

_I smiled with murder on my mind_

And I could not even get angry at her. At the fact she considered this a joke.

_Yesterday, when I was mad_

_and quite prepared to give up everything_

_admitting I don't believe_

_in anyone's sincerity and that's what's really got to me_

Five minutes later, I sat in my room, holding a knife. The pain… It was too much. I lost so much already. So many. It was time to end this.

_'You have a certain quality which really is unique_

_Expressionless, such irony, although your voice is weak_

_It doesn't really matter 'cause the music is so loud_

_Of course it's all on tape but no one will find out'_

With soft musuc playing, I plunged the knife in my chest.

_You hated me too_

_but not as much as I hated you_

It was bliss, going away from all.

So that's what the sound is. Life support.

If I could, I would have cried. _Why did I fail?_

_Yesterday, when I was mad_

_and quite prepared to give up everything_

_admitting I don't believe_

_in anyone's sincerity and that's what's really got to me_

Suddenly, I realize who is crying. It's Raven. _Now she decided to feel sorry? _Yet despite myself, I am listening. Apparently, she tries to apologize.

_Then when I was lonely_

_I thought again_

_and changed my mind_

"I am so sorry, Beastboy. I just couldn't believe someone would like me for who I am. I thought you were laughing at me, so I laughed back."

After that, she sobbed for at least five minutes before she managed to speak the next words.

"It felt so horrible to me, seeing you there, lying in a pool of blood. It almost killed me, knowing I caused it. Please, Gar, just get better."

So, she thinks she can make up by using my pet name. Naaaah. No way.

_Then we posed for pictures with the competition winners_

_and argued about the hotel rooms and where to go for dinner_

_and someone said: 'It's fabulous you're still around today_

_You've both made such a little go a very long way'_

"Just get better. I promise you, I will go with you on a date in the best restaurant in the city."

_Thinks me cheap, that girl. Won't fool me._

"The best restaurant in the country, in the world if you want to. On me."

_Well, that's a bit better._

"Just come back to me. Please"

_Yesterday, when I was mad_

_and quite prepared to give up everything_

_admitting I don't believe_

_in anyone's sincerity, and that's what's really got to me_

Still not enough though. But what I hear next…

_Then when I was lonely_

_I thought again_

_and changed my mind_

"It took me a long time to realize. Too long, maybe." She sobbed. "I love you. Please come back to me."

_Well, maybe I should consider her offer._


	3. Can you forgive her?

**Can you forgive her?**

* * *

It's night. Everyone visited me at one time or another, but now they all left, except for Raven, and she decided to take a nap. I hate being like that, helpless, yet hearing all. Still, it leaves time to think,

_Another night with open eyes_

_too late to sleep, too soon to rise_

_You're short of breath, is it a heart attack?_

_Hot and feverish you face the fact_

_you're in love and it feels like shame_

_because she's gone and made a fool of you in public again_

_You're in love and it feels like pain_

_because you know there's too much truth in everything she claims_

I lie there, considering what Raven said. I want to hate her. I want to be angry at her. Yet somehow, despite all, I find myself incapable of that.

_So ask yourself now_

_Can you forgive her_

_if she wants you to?_

_Ask yourself_

_Can you even deliver_

_what she demands of you?_

Should I reject her? She caused me so much pain. On the other hand, she seems to be genuinely sorry. And after that Malchior bastard, she certainly had a right to distrust what I said.

_You drift into the strangest dreams_

_of youthful follies and changing teams_

_Admit you're wrong, oh, no, not yet_

_Then you wake up and remember that you can't forget_

_she's made you some kind of laughing stock_

_because you dance to disco and you don't like rock_

_She made fun of you and even in bed_

_said she was gonna go and get herself a real man instead_

For a few minutes, I doze off. And upon awakening, I discovered three things. First, I can move, my fingers at least. Second, Raven is awake. Third, she is looking into my eyes. Well, here is an opportunity to talk. If I manage to.

_So ask yourself now_

_Can you forgive her_

_if she begs you to?_

_Ask yourself_

_Can you even deliver_

_what she demands of you?_

_Or do you want revenge?_

_But that's childish, so childish_

"Raven?" I say. It hurts, but tolerable. After all, I didn't stab my throat.

She flinches. But then she smiles, if somewhat sadly.

"Beastboy. I am so sorry, I…"

"Relax Raven, I heard you already. And to tell the truth, no matter how much I like getting my way, I don't want to hear it again" I grin at her.

"Still, Gar, I think that apology is in order. I was so distrustful, in fact, I was afraid," I could see the pain in her eyes. "I hurt you so badly. And in front of the others, too" She lowered her head in shame. "You… You have every right to hate me"

_Remember when you were more easily led_

_behind the cricket pavilion and the bicycle shed_

_Trembling as your dreams came true_

_you looked right into those blue eyes and knew_

_it was love and now you can't pretend_

_you've forgotten all the promises of that first friend_

_It's bad enough she knows how you feel_

_but she's not prepared to share you with a memory_

"Look at me." I told her. Reluctantly, she obeyed, and I found myself lost in those purple orbs. At that moment, our eyes told each other far more than any words could.

"I could never hate you. You did hurt me, but I am ready to forgive you. If you want me to."

Finally, I see a real, happy grin on her face.

_So ask yourself now_

_Can you forgive her_

_if she begs you to?_

_Ask yourself_

_Can you even deliver_

_what she demands of you?_

_Ask yourself now_

_Can you forgive her_

_if she begs you to?_

_And ask yourself_

_Can you even deliver_

_what she demands of you?_

_Or do you want revenge?_

_But that's childish, so childish_

"Now, let's discuss this restaurant you promised me."

My hurt didn't pass completely, so I decided to get some small revenge. After all, I am still somewhat of a child.

Now, where do you take a half demoness for a date… Of course.

_**Village Green.**_


	4. Liberation

Well, this chapter is a bit out of format here. I decided to put some story here, more than in the other chapters. Some chatter, too. Sorry.

Additional disclaimer: Dani Din is created and owned by Shraga Gafni. Not by me.

**Liberation.**

* * *

Raven was uneasy. Of course, that was the entire idea.

No, I didn't choose the best restaurant in the world, for myself. I didn't choose the most expensive, to get material revenge. Nooo.

"You know, Beastboy, this place really makes me uneasy, but it seems to pass. Now, it feels kind of… liberating here."

I am a bit disappointed. But then, I don't really want to hurt her.

"Yeah." I say as I look at the people outside. "It's lucky for you that you have denounced so much of your heritage and not a full demon. I think even your dad would have felt somewhat uneasy this deep in Jerusalem."

_Take my hand_

_I've changed my mind again_

_Really I believed it true_

_that all who fell in love were foolish_

_But I was wrong_

_I've learned that lesson well_

_All the way back home at midnight_

_you were sleeping on my shoulder_

The shrine of the three religions is a good ward against demons. I would know.

The waiter arrived. I made an order for the both of us.

"You speak Hebrew?" Asked Raven in amazement.

"You don't? I would have thought with all your reading you would. Although, of course, Judaism never looked kindly upon sorcery."

"No, I never dared to learn it. Back to my question…"

"I lived here for a couple of years before I joined the Doom Patrol. You may be surprised, but I learn languages very quickly."

"How did you get here? You never told us about that."

"I… I would rather not talk about it." I say as memories float back. "It's not something I want to remember."

_Take my hand_

_Don't think of obligations_

_Now, right now_

_your love is liberation_

She placed her hand on mine.

"Please, Gar, tell me. I wish to know about you."

_To free in me_

_the trust I never dared_

_I always thought the risk too great_

_but suddenly I don't hesitate so_

It was a very painful time in my life, but I guess she had the right to know.

"When I was around 10, a criminal got hold of me. Can't tell you his name because he never used one for long." I showed her a place on my neck where a faint mark could still be seen. "He got me implanted with a device to kill me if I got out of control, so I had no choice but to steal for him."

I looked into her eyes at those words. There was sadness and understanding. Apparently, she accepted that. I continued:

"For about a year, we traveled throughout the world, me constantly making him richer. Yet, somehow, he decided it wasn't enough. He made a pact with a demon." I smiled at that. Raven did, too. "And you know how it usually ends. Anyway, when things started turning grim, he fled here, knowing that this is one place the demon won't enter. And, of course, he still sent me out to steal."

"Yet," said the girl in front of me "you managed to get out. How?"

_Take my hand_

_Don't think of complications_

_Now, right now_

_your love is liberation_

_Liberation_

I hesitated before continuing. This might really complicate things between us.

"The obvious way. I got him killed."

"How?" That was one thing she didn't expect. And one thing which got out of her a negative reaction.

"He made a few mistakes. First, he was very prone to anger fits. Lucky I could get away before he could beat me up. Because of those fits, the device was made so it couldn't kill me instantly. First it stunned me, and only a minute later, could the killing sequence be activated, so he could cool down. The second mistake was, that one day, a few weeks before Christmas, he told me to prepare to assassinate someone.

Now, I sometimes sneaked away to university lectures about philosophy, and some other subjects, too, and despite all of my Master's brainwashing I realized, that such an order, to an extent, justifies quite drastic measures."

The food arrived. We started with vegetable soup. Raven was the first to speak.

"I understand. To defend another or yourself, killing is justified."

"Yes, but it doesn't make it easy. Morally or otherwise. He could always hear everything I said, see what I saw, so I couldn't pass any message outside. However, I did manage to look at some calendar charts. You see, there was the third mistake of his. He liked feeling his superiority over the demon. So, from time to time, he went very close to the border of the safe area, and taunted the demon. I subtly managed to convince him to go to the border at a proper time."

"What was the time?" Asked Raven, intrigued. That was certainly her area of interest. "Some fast, or a mourning day?"

I smiled at the memory. "Nothing like that. The power of this place is too strong for the people to affect it. But the charts I looked at, gave the exact moment the darkness is strongest. I brought him to the border right at the moment of the winter solstice." I paused. Raven smirked. "He was snatched away rather quickly. Since he had time to stun me, I couldn't help him. I doubt I would have though, considering the words he said about my parents when dragged away. Anyway, the demon didn't have time to grab me as well."

"I don't understand. Didn't the device have some safeguard to kill you when he died?"

"Only if it would look like I killed him. When he was teleported to hell, all his lifesigns stopped the same moment. Animals can't do that, at least none I could transform into back then. I was spared."

"What happened then?" She was eager to hear the rest of the story.

"Nothing much. I lived here for a year or so, sneaked away to lectures, stopped some burglars. Then, a friend referred me to the Doom Patrol. They removed the device, and the rest is history."

She looked at me.

"You know, Gar, I am impressed. I never took you for such a… devious type"

_The night, the stars_

_A light shone through the dark_

_All the way back home at midnight_

_you were sleeping on my shoulder_

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Rae." I said looking into her eyes. "Things I would like to share with you."

Slowly, she leaned over the table, and kissed me. It was such bliss, to finally feel her lips against mine, to taste them, to… It was indescribable. I don't know how long we were like that, until suddenly…

"Gershom! Long time no see!"

This could only be one person in this small country. I looked over. That was him, a sixty year old guy with a somewhat unnatural face color. One I would recognize anywhere.

"Dani! Long time, _never_ see!"

He walked over to our table. Taking it all in, he started talking excitedly.

"I heard from someone a guy who looked like you was sighted in the town. I knew I would find you here. And, that, if I'm not mistaken, is Raven."

She shook his hand "Yes, that's me. And you would be?.."

"Of course, where are my manners. Dani Din," He lowered his voice "_The Invisible Man_"

"This is the friend I told you about. A local hero. I met him soon after I got rid of my master."

I looked at him.

"Would you join us for the lunch maybe?"

"No thanks. You know what happened when the entire world became vegetarians."

We had that argument at least a hundred times while here.

"I know, they were drowned. I don't think there is much risk of that now, and there's also God's promise"

"Still, I think I should leave you to your… date, am I correct?"

I looked at Raven to see her reaction.

"Yeah. Now, if you would step aside. Our lasagne is coming."

He moved away, sitting behind another table.

Raven lifted an eyebrow.

"Gershom?"

"Foreign names are often changed here. He decided to call me Gershom" I paused "and you are welcome, too."

"Well then, Gershom, let's continue our meal. Anything else in mind after that?"

"Well, we can walk through the city for a few hours. I know some beautiful places. After that, we'll get back to the T-ship."

_Take my hand,_

_Don't think of hesitation_

_Now, right now_

_your love is liberation_

_Liberation_

After finishing the meal, and saying goodbye to my friend, we, as I promised, walked around the city for a while. It was … really nice here. Of course, recalling my slavery wasn't pleasant, yet telling it – that was – cleansing. Liberating. And Raven has finally seen the real me. And liked it.

Now _that_ really puzzles me.

She is still uneasy about approaching the city centre, but there are plenty of other city streets around to walk and chatter. And beautiful landscapes. She really liked the stories I heard on the lectures.

"So let me get this straight." Raven asks while giggling. "That sage gave them three miracles, and the other sages still remained convinced they are right?"

"Yes" I was telling her the story of Akhnai's Oven. "So he says: 'If I'm right, the Heavens shall prove it.' A Voice came out and said he was right."

"So what did the sages say?"

I shrugged.

"The head of the sages said, that since Torah was already given to the people, it's not in the Heavens but here. So the decision is made here. Heavens don't get a vote. The majority won."

"How did God react?" Asked my girlfriend (Do I call her that already?).

"According to a later account, someone met Prophet Elijah, and asked him that question. God smiled, and said 'My children have won over me, they have.'"

Raven smiled.

I look at my clock.

"Sorry, my love, but it appears we should return home."

"I don't want to." She pouted (Dammit. Since when did she get such a good control over her powers?).

"Well, Don't hurry then." I said before kissing her.

_Back home at midnight_

_All the way back home at midnight_

The T-ship was flying, racing the sunset. I chose the time and speed well, so that we would enjoy it for the entire way. A bit slow, yeah, but we're in no hurry. The rest can work without us for a day.

Raven snuggled into my side, quite asleep. The time difference was affecting her. Well, the autopilot is Cyborg work, so I guess I can get a nap myself.


	5. I wouldn't normally

Well, here it is. The last chapter. BTW, to those who are curious, the songs I chose are no accident,. You see, I really liked the clips over ten years ago. So, that choice was natural.

Also, thanks to those who reviewed. And those who (hopefully) will, too.

**I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing**

* * *

_Ask me why_

_I'll say it's most unusual_

_How can I even try to explain_

_why today I feel like dancing_

_singing like lovers sing_

_when I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing?_

_I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing_

It's kind of weird. Normally, a guy would be nervous like hell under such circumstances. But somehow, I barely feel that. More than anything, I feel joy. Overwhelming joy.

Yes. Me and Raven are finally getting married!

_Ask me when_

_I'll say it started when I met you_

_and ever since then I knew that the past couldn't last_

_For right now I think I'm running_

_a race I know I'm gonna win_

_and I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing_

_I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing_

We really became close after that date. First a movie, then a vacation in Slovenia, and before she knew it, she found me on my knee in front of her. Of course, she couldn't refuse.

You should have seen the hugs Starfire gave us when she heard about that.

_If people say I'm crazy_

_I tell them that it's true_

_Let them watch with amazement_

_say it won't last beyond breakfast_

_it's a phase he's going through_

_denigrate or speculate_

_on what I'm going through_

_because it isn't the sort of thing I'd normally do_

"Damn you, Beastboy, how can you be so calm" I turn to see Robin in front of me "I can't even propose to Star, every time I try, I am just about paralyzed. How can you manage."

I answer somewhat dreamily, but confidently.

"I can do that, Dick, because I know it is the right thing to do. The _only_ right thing to do."

"Well, so do I."

I smirk at him

"Apparently not."

_Ask me what_

_I'll say I think it's good for you_

_Believe it or not I know where it's all leading to_

The wedding wasn't exactly a traditional one. First, because Raven is a half demon, and second because I invited a couple of friends from Israel, we have forgone any kind of priest (I'm not sure if they would have minded, but I decided it was polite). Then, she wasn't wearing white.

It was a long consideration, but in the end, we decided on blue. With light blue flower print.

I must tell you, white or blue, she didn't look any less of an angel!

Another (and the best) thing that was unusual about the wedding, is that both it, and the things immediately following, were just long enough so as not to be impolite. Meaning, in an hour and a half, we were done.

We were in front of our room now. Well, one traditional thing was still left to do.

_I feel like taking all my clothes off_

_dancing to The Rite of Spring_

_and I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing_

_I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing_

_I wouldn't normally do this kind of_

_this kind of thing_

I scooped my wife into my arms, and carried her over the threshold. Somewhat surprised, she still had enough presence of mind to put the most powerful locking charm she could on the door.

Now, some of you may be disappointed, by I think I'll cut it here. Goodbye.

_The Happy End._


End file.
